Question and Answer Friday

This is your chance to email, facebook, or comment questions. I'll pick some parents to help me out with giving some different answers. And hopefully you readers will comment with some of your responses too!

First, a little bio on the Mamas featured: 


Chelsea--Mom to a handsome 1 year old with the most beautiful blue eyes ever--he also happens to be my nephew. 
Eileen--Mom to three gorgeous girls, 14, 11, and 9. 
Yours Truly--Mama to 2 cute little boys, almost 4 and almost 2, and author of this here blog :)
Anonymous--Mom to a 4 year old girl, a 3 year old boy, and one on the way, with a loving husband of 7 years.

1. How did you know you were ready for a baby? (Did you feel like you had everything in order? Was baby a surprise? Did you feel you were monetarily ready? etc)
     Chelsea--I had no idea I was ready for a baby even on the day Isak was born. I don't think anything can prepare you for the moment you become a parent. Although Isak was very much a surprise we had everything in order from finances to neatly folded baby clothes in the dresser months before his due date. Yet, I still didn't feel "ready" until the moment I held him on my chest. It was then that I knew I was ready.

     Eileen--I had trouble getting pregnant due to Polycystic Ovarian Disease. I was married for 8 years before I finally got pregnant, so Eric and I had plenty of time alone together and we were very ready for children. The Lord worked everything out; we were out of debt for several months before I got pregnant, which was both a surprise and a miracle!
     Yours Truly--Our first was a surprise. We knew it would happen sooner than we were planning, but weren't expecting it to be that soon. We didn't think we were anywhere near ready; my husband had gone back to school, we weren't financially sound, etc. But God works in wonderful ways. I am so, so thankful for our little surprise--it saved us months of wondering if this was our month. And the money? God has his ways of working that out too!
     Anonymous--We didn't plan our first three pregnancies but were thrilled nonetheless. My hubby never felt quite ready monetarily, but if we waited for him, we would be childless. My philosophy is to be prudent but also that we'd make it work-because you'd have to!

2. What was your greatest fear about parenthood? How is it now that you're actually a parent?

     Chelsea--My greatest fear was about how we would deal with the dramatic change in lifestyle. However, now that I’m a mom I couldn’t imagine doing anything else with my time. What used to seem important now pales in comparison.
     Eileen--I had no fear with my first one, but I remember wondering how I could love another child as much as my first when I got pregnant the second time. Turns out that was easy!
     Yours Truly--I was afraid of miscarrying our first. Other than that I didn't really have any fears with our first which was why I was so taken aback by the postpartum depression I experienced. Just like Eileen, with our second, I was concerned about not loving the second one as much as the first and also about how the new baby would affect my older son. Now that I have both...it's amazing how your heart expands and you truly do have room to love each child equally! I even think there might be more room in there ;) And...my older son is no worse for the wear. In fact, he has a built in best friend (with an occasional built in punching bag).
     Anonymous--Giving birth to a mentally handicapped or Down Syndrome child.

3. What were you most looking forward to about parenthood? How is it now that you're actually a parent?
     Chelsea--I couldn’t wait to hear Isak say 'momma' or to reach up with arms out to be picked up, and now that I get to experience it, it is so much better than I imagined.

     Eileen--I most looked forward to just being a mom - loving and nurturing a child.
     Yours Truly--What was I not looking forward to? I was looking forward to the first time I saw them, held them, breathed them, the first smile, giggle, true belly laugh, the first time they sat up, said Mama, reached up, the first attempt at rolling over, crawling, the first step, the first time they said I Love You Mommy, I looked forward to hugs, kisses, and all the learning they would experience. I looked forward to experiencing everything with them as they experienced it for the first time. And after knowing what to fully expect, I was that much more excited with our second. I LOVE being a Mommy.
     Anonymous--Family activities when my kids were old enough to talk and play; family meals full of conversation, family game nights, family picnics, baseball, etc. It's wonderful! Now, we just have to fight for quality time together and plan quality activities...or it won't happen!

4. What would you tell someone that is weighing the option of having a baby or not?

     Chelsea--I guess I would encourage anyone who has a stable home and is willing to give all his or her time and energy to a child to go for it. They bring more joy than anything else possibly could. We were definitely not planning on starting a family when we did, but God has a way of redirecting our plans for the better. There is much to consider when starting a family…how to pay for things, who will care for the child during the day…the list goes on, but in my experience and opinion love for your child will find a way to overcome the obstacles.
     Eileen--I think the marriage should be strong with as few stressors as possible. That said, I think if a person has the capacity to be nurturing and self-sacrificing then they should consider parenting. Counseling would definitely help (of course I would say that!).
     Yours Truly--See #3 above ;) Or see this. Being a parent is such a blessing, but I would be doing a disservice (and if you've read any other posts on this blog you'd know this already) if I didn't admit that parenting is hard. I wouldn't trade it for anything though.
     Anonymous--Please be married because it is sooo exhausting and hard to rear a child. I couldn't imagine not having a dedicated spouse to help share the load. My heart goes out to single mothers especially. But children are such a blessing! If you're going to have one; sacrifice so that you are the one rearing your child and not some other caretaker. Spend all the time you can cherishing your child because it goes quickly and then they are an adult and you want to be in their lives and have a good relationship to save so much heatache later.

Readers: Your turn to weight in. How would you answer those 4 questions?!

Question and Answer con...

Wondering what this post is all about? See my post yesterday to find out who all these people are and what we're talking about :)

4. When did you know your kid(s) were ready for small chunks of food and not pureed? 

     Rachele: I just tried a puree a few times, and when that was fine, tried chunks, and that was fine too. If you use small chunks of very soft food that doesn't need to be chewed (such as pears) and you sit right by, it's fine at a younger age than most people think. If you google "baby led weaning" then you'll see some babies are eating small chunks at 6mo. 

     Katie H: For starters Hudson ate like a rockstar from the beginning. He was eating me out of house and home so I started making my own baby food because of the variety, it's more healthy, and it's WAY cheaper. I started pureeing everything. Then I started giving him things like banana pieces, bread, etc. I did notice that he crammed everything in his mouth that was on his tray so I knew he couldn't handle too big of bites or two many because he would choke. He was always choking! I guess it's a trial and error thing. I also noticed he was interested in what we were eating so I would let him try things to get a variety.

     Nikki: It's got to be that pincer grasp thing. If the kid can pick up a Cheerio 9 times out of 10, then he's probably ready to eat it. Also, teeth, they're a pretty good sign. But every kid is different, so I start small and mushy (banana chunks are good) and if we don't gag, maybe we'll try something bigger or chewier.

     Calah: I think I started giving Bryton more chunkier stuff (i.e. little pieces of banana, strawberry, softer foods) around 7 months maybe? That's a big question mark. :) I generally just judge by if they seem to be learning what it means to bite and if they can mush it around in their mouth then keep it coming. The more they can do it the better. Also, a good judge for me was when Bryton started picking stuff up cause then I knew he could pick up little pieces of food.

     Greta: We started mushy foods (pieces of banana, avocado, puffs, etc.) around 7 months. I would only put a couple of things on the tray at one time. We started other food once the grasping, gagging was better. I think around 9 or 10 months? Small pieces of turkey, chicken, other fruit pieces, cheerios. 

5. How do you juggle having more than one child? Especially when it comes to having a newborn (feedings take forever, up all night, etc.) 

     Rachele: Lots of help from other people. Lots of slow cooker meals. A very very helpful husband shouldering much of the load. Relaxing the rules on letting the older kid watch TV. Enrolling the older child in independent activities to give the younger kid some space and peace for sleeping. Getting babysitting for the younger baby so I can get one-on-one time to focus on the older kid. (We have a babysitting swap setup with friends, so it's free for us most of the time. I highly recommend setting up babysitting swaps if possible.)      

     Nikki: Never say no to help. Ever. Unless it's that creepy guy down the street who doesn't shower much. Really, if someone offers to pick up groceries or bring a meal or fold laundry or walk your newborn around the block in a stroller, just say yes. Go sleep, eat, veg, shower, or read a tabloid magazine. Remember, Just Say Yes to Help.

     Calah:  It is definitely a juggling act with 3 kids! Greyson is bottle fed, which makes it easier on everyone I think. It's all about your other kids learning to have patience.  I would highly recommend to anyone, unless it's an emergency like they are gonna pee their pants or got a bad owie, that you tell them it can wait till you are done feeding little brother or sister, and don't get up till the baby is done eating. 

Make your older ones as independent as possible. I keep simple snacks like graham crackers, goldfish, in a cupboard down low so Bryton can get himself a snack if that is what he wants and I can't get it for him at the moment.

     Greta: See my post here about what I did while I was nursing a newborn with a 2 year old running around. Otherwise, ACCEPT HELP! Fortunately, my youngest was a SUPER easy (understatement) baby; we had our more difficult one first. One thing I wish I had done was continue to send our older son to his grandparents house 3 mornings a week so I could have alone/quality time with the baby. I would suggest that if you have that sort of system in place (or daycare, preschool, or whatever) keep having the older ones go (if you can afford it ) even just a couple mornings a week even though you're home. 

Question and Answer Friday

This is your chance to email, facebook, or comment questions. I'll pick some parents to help me out with giving some different answers. I had so many great questions/responses that I'm breaking them in to 2 days...check back tomorrow for: When did you know your baby was ready to switch from pureed food to small chunks? How do you juggle having more than one child, especially when you have a newborn (not sleeping through the night, feeding all the time, etc.)

First, a little bio on the Mamas featured: 


Rachele; mom to an adorable 3 1/2 year old girl and a sweet 1 year old boy. She's the author of Rhubarb Jam.
Katie H; mom to Hudson, a handsome 18 month old boy.
Katie B; featured the other day as a Transparent Moment. Mom to a beautiful 6 month old little girl. She's the author of Being the Browns.
Nikki; a brave mama with 4 kids; a 5 year old girl, twin 3 year old girls, and a 1 year old boy. Crazy? Maybe. But oh so cute (and I may or may not be envious!) She's the author of Ninja Mom.
Calah; Mom to 3 handsome boys. Trey is 6, Bryton just turned 2, and Greyson is almost 4 months old. 
Yours truly;  Mama to two cute little boys; an almost 4 year old, and an almost 2 year old. And author of this here blog :)

1. Did you teach your kid(s) sign language? If so, at what age did you begin and how many signs? What were the easiest signs for you to teach/them to pick up? If not, why not? 

    Rachele: Yes. With our daughter we started about 9mo, with our son closer to 12mo. We taught over 100 signs to our daughter. We were much more consistent with her so with son, he has learned only perhaps a dozen and is far from consistent with them. We got a lot of help from using the Signing Times series on DVD (taken from their old TV episodes). Easiest signs are: milk, eat, water.

     Katie H:  I taught our son, Hudson, to sign around 6 months or so when he started eating solids. I wanted to teach him how to ask for more without whining or slapping his hands on the tray. I taught him more, milk, food, please, thank you, drink, all done, and change. I bought a great book called Baby Signing 123. I took sign language as a foreign language in college and I currently teach sign in my KG classroom so I am very comfortable with it. Hudson caught on but didn't sign right away. He new what I was saying but he just watched. A month or so later he started copying all the signs. He is VERY verbal so I've quit signing as much because he wants to learn the words. Sometimes I say the word and do the signs.
     Katie B: My daughter is 6 months old. I am just beginning to start to teach her sign language. We are beginning with one sign as of of now and hope to work up to about 5 signs.
     Nikki: I taught my first born baby signs using the Baby Signs book. We began around 6 months, the same time that she started table food. I found that meal time was an opportunity to sit with her (helpfully captive in her high chair) and work on the signs. We probably got up to somewhere around 25 to 40 signs. It was a fantastic language builder. I've used signs with all of my kids (she has 4!) to some degree or another. And, because we use them only casually around the house, not in conjunction with a caregiver, I've felt free to invent signs that work best for us.
     Calah: I didn't teach my kids sign language. By my own choice I preferred to just teach them to say it than to sign it first. I think though in some cases my kids were the exception cause Trey and Bryton both verbally communicated fairly early for boys. So, when they started showing verbal communication skills I just ran with it.
     Greta: We attempted sign language with our first. We started at about 8 months. I taught him all done, more, and eat. I was afraid to teach him too much more because I had been reading at the time that it can delay speech. We weren't consistent and he became more interested in speaking so we just gave up. Our second we attempted all done but he would just do the sign on his tray resulting in everything getting smashed around his plate or ending up on the floor. He's been a really late talker (and is frustrated by it) so the whole "delayed speech" because of signing is thrown out the window--he would have been one to really benefit from signing.


2. What did you do to reduce/prevent stranger anxiety?

    Rachele: With both kids, I started using gym daycare 2-3x a week when they were about 4 or 5mo. Dropoff and pickup all within an hour. I think it helped some, but that said, every kid goes through stranger anxiety and it seems to hit somewhere between 9mo and 15mo. They get over it but it will still happen in phases, I think! 

     Katie H: I don't know if I've crossed this yet. I think me working has helped him to not be afraid of other people. When Hudson was a baby, we had a nanny and my mom watch him. Now he goes to daycare 3 mornings a week which has helped him be comfortable with other people. I would just say socialization in general; from swim lessons to library "lap sit" time, etc.
     Katie B: The fear of strangers may still come in time, but I let friends and family hold her whenever they want so she gets used to being with others. She interacts with strangers at the store or out and about and I let her do so.
     Nikki: I encourage the kids to wave and say hi and the like when we are together in public places. As they've aged we quietly instituted a policy that it's okay, even expected, to engage with strangers when Mom and Dad are around. The best place to practice this? The grocery store. Lots of people to interact with, but baby (or toddler) feels safe in her seat in the shopping cart.
     Calah: I feel that with Trey he has this sort of hesitation with strangers. I don't know if I instilled that in him or if that was sort of an in born thing. We have worked on it, and he is much, much better now. I have just taught him that it is not a problem if someone says hi to say hi back but only if he feels comfortable with it. I don't force it too much cause I'd rather my kids be overly cautious in this area than too friendly and trust any and everyone I guess.
     Greta: With our oldest we were consistent with was taking him to the church nursery which I think helped a lot. He was never really too shy and didn't really go through stranger anxiety until the beginning of this year when we started him in a preschool. With Kai we had taken a break from going to church because every time we did the kids would get sick. Now he's (whether a result of not going or not) fearful of strangers (and even our parents for awhile) and it's something we're still battling with. We try to make leaving a game. We blow kisses, catch them in the air, and smack them on our cheeks. So far it's been working (at least with our parents)...the true test will be leaving him with a stranger.

3. Do you use the same bedtime routine at night as you do during the day for naps?

     Rachele: No. Nap (routine takes 10-15min) is a very abbreviated version of bedtime, which much longer (routine takes 30-45min). I have heard several times that napping and sleeping are learned in different parts of the brain, and I have heard a lot of moms swear this is true, so I don't put much stock in napping routines or skill translating to bedtime, or vice versa.

     Katie H: I followed the Babywise book which is all about a schedule. I love that thing! For Hudson he would eat, play, sleep, repeat. I started stretching his feeds to eventually every 4 hours and then followed a routine. He knew what was happening and what was expected. For bedtime, we do a bath (almost every night...no in the summer:( ), Bible story, prayers, and then put him in his crib. He loves his naps/or nighttime sleep! I usually use this phrase when getting ready for a nap or going to bed "Do you want to go see dog and bearie?" He usually says "Yah" Then I say "Lets go get in your crib" and he almost always squeals with excitement.
     Katie B: Our nighttime routine is its own thing. I don't have much of a routine for naps besides zipping her in her sleep sack and giving her a little "shhhh" in her ear for a minute before laying her down. But I guess for both nap and nighttime, she does go in her sleep sack, we turn on the fan, we lay her down and give her a blankie to cuddle. But for nighttime there are many more steps (naked time, bath, lotion, feeding, story, etc)

     Nikki: We have the same routine for daytime sleep as we do for nighttime sleep. Except, we add a prayer at night.

     Calah: I don't always use the same routine for nap times as I do for night. The simpler you can keep it the better, especially if you have more than one kiddo.    

     Greta: Now we don't but it was sort of similar when they were each babies until about 14 months. Bedtime was just a longer version. For both we would read a story, close the blinds, give special blankies and turn on the fan. With bedtime we would do a bath...every night, then follow nap time routine, but I'd also sing songs and say prayers as they lay there in the dark. 


Readers: I know this is a lot of text, but what do you think? Should I continue it as a weekly or bi-monthly addition to the blog? Do you find it helpful? Next week I have some questions about "How did you know you were ready for a baby?" "What is the best/hardest part about pregnancy?", etc. Anyone want to help answer a few?