You remember WHAT?!

You may look at that picture at first and think--what the heck is that?

Well, that's exactly what I thought at first. However, my four year old had it nailed the other night when we were in the middle of our toy rotation.

"Mommy, what is this?" He asked, holding up the object pictured above.

"Oh, I remember." He replied in response to his own question before I could even look up to get a clear picture of what he was referring to.

"This is that thing that goes above my bed and made me dizzy when I was a baby."

This is the same child that just a few weeks ago announced to me that he when he was a baby the only thing that hurt was when his daddy and I would give him a bath to clean his belly button.

Umm. I'm screwed.

Postpartum Continued...

As I said in yesterday's post, I was determined with our second to do all I could to help prevent postpartum depression the second time around. 

Here are some of the things I learned...

1. Ask (or accept offers) for help.  This is the number one piece of advice I can give. If someone offers to make you a meal, get their phone number and call them. You do not need to do everything. Trust me, you will appreciate not having to think about what to make for dinner. If someone offers to come clean you house...TAKE THEM UP ON IT. You might need to allow them to hold your baby for a few when they're all done, but it's so worth it. You won't be able to do it all yourself, and it's important to know that's okay.

2. Surround yourself with other parents. Find a go-to person for all those parenting questions; someone you can call when you need advice, need to know if you're acting sane, need an ear to listen and let you know that what you're experiencing is perfectly normal...or not.

3. While you're still in the hospital, don't be afraid to send the baby out with the nurses so you can get some sleep. It doesn't make you a bad parent, and it doesn't mean you love your child any less. If your baby is anything like mine was, it may be the only sleep you'll have for awhile and it's so important for your recovery to rest. This will be especially true if you have the baby in the middle of the night...you'll need to get caught up on sleep!

4. Identify potential triggers. E.g. I knew if I didn't find out ahead of time what we were having I had the potential to feel depression (especially with the surge of post baby hormones) if we had another boy. I wanted to feel elated at his birth that we were adding another baby to the family. See Gender Envy. For some it might be having an overbearing parent, or parent in law, that might have the potential to hang around too much. Or it could be knowing you'll feel too stressed if the house isn't immaculate. Or for others still it might be something else entirely. The important thing is to address it beforehand (as much as possible...you won't know every potential trigger) and have a plan.

5. Ask those closest to you to monitor how you're feeling/acting. It's normal to be weepy and emotional. But if you start to feel like it's going beyond that, take it seriously. If you're like me and don't realize how bad it is while you're in it, make sure you let your spouse and/or friends/family know it's okay to suggest help.

6. Get out and about. Go to coffee with a friend, go shopping, go to dinner, go for a walk. Whatever it is, just get out. If you have a baby that allows you to get out with him/her, then by all means, do. But, if you have a baby like my first, try to find outings that are easier to manage a crying baby. Getting out for a walk, or exercise in general (nothing strenuous for the first 6 weeks) can help produce endorphins which help your overall sense of well-being.

7. Don't expect everything to go according to your plan. Life is unpredictable and babies are, well, babies. Just when you think you have them figured out, they throw you a curve ball. Your baby may not sleep, you may struggle in ways you didn't realize, your baby may

8. Sleep. Okay, remember how I said I hated (understatement) when people told me to do that? Well, I hated it because inevitably whenever I would lay down for a nap my son would wake up just as I was dosing off (It would take me 30 minutes to fall asleep which is exactly when he would wake up). However, there is truth in the statement that you should sleep. Only what I want to suggest is sleep even when your baby is awake. What I mean by that is if you are one whose child does not sleep, take up one of those people on their offer to help and have them watch your baby (yes, even if your baby is awake) so you can get caught up on sleep. I had my son at 3:42 am, the doctors and guests didn't leave until after 5:45 am, and the pediatrician came in to do the circ at 7:00 am. Guests started pouring back in around 8:00 am...should I continue? Needless to say, we were up for basically 40 hours straight. It's a hard thing to catch up on. And then to have a child that didn't sleep made it that much harder. In hindsight I wish I had asked someone (other than my husband because he was so tired too) to watch our son and only wake me for nursing...I could have missed one day of his life instead of weeks. Would it have helped? I don't know, but I sure wouldn't have been as exhausted while I was depressed. Fortunately, I was blessed with a 2nd child that slept 20 hours a day for the first few months.

9. Make sure you're getting your Omega-3s. I didn't try this one, but a lot of the reading I've done has shown me there is some research backing this up. Interesting thought.

10. If postpartum depression does happen to you, know that you are not alone. You are not the first, you will not be the last. Seek out help.

Please know that since I am not a Doctor any "advice" I suggest should be run by a Doctor first. 


Readers: I hope you've found something to either carry with yourself, or pass along to a friend. Please do! It's so important to know you're not alone. Anyone else have any tips to add? What did you do to help get rid of, or prevent postpartum?


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Life Without Kids?

The other day I was asked if I remember what life was life before having kids? Sure, it was quiet, carefree, and without much responsibility. We were able to sleep in (or sleep in general) until our hearts content, make plans on a whim, and our house was always clean. We rarely frequented the doctor. 

Our quiet house is now filled with chatter and coos, giggles and baby laughs, I love you mommies and I love you daddies. Our restfulness has been overtaken by sleepless nights and early mornings. Our once clean out has become cluttered with toys, children’s books, and Disney DVDs. Every room has a unique touch of child…small shoes by the door, mini washcloths and potty seat in the bathroom, bibs and highchair in the kitchen, etc. Our plans on a whim have become events, even the smallest outings, meticulously planned weeks in advance (something that can never be understood unless you have kids of your own). As for responsibility? Yikes.And  the Doctor visits? We are now on a first name basis. In fact, Kadyn is know as the "child with the most severe allergies in the clinic." Talk about responsibility? Double yikes.

I wouldn’t trade a moment of silence for all the noise our household creates. And I miss the boys when they are sleeping even though I cherish those precious moments. A clean house is no longer at the top of my priority list and all the extra loads of laundry?...I think I spoke to laundry in my last post...I smile as I fold their tiny little clothes thinking of them wearing each outfit (MY and MY HUSBAND'S laundry is another matter). 

We are all things boy: trucks, dirt, and bugs. Blue, brown, green. Overalls, crocs, camouflage, polos, baseball hats, and big boy undies. Blocks, trains, cars. Play-doh, Legos, remote control cars. Running, jumping, climbing. Owies, kisses, and Band-Aids. Trikes, wagons, and forts. Frogs, spiders and lizards. Hammers, noise makers and flashlights. 

I will miss these days; days of baby cracks, big lights and special blankies. Padded jammies running down the wood floor hallway, endless hugs, and saying each letter “k” as a “t.” Days of baby rolls, all about mommy, and seeing life through the eyes of a child experiencing them for the first time.

Of course there are days that I want to pull my hair out, days that I wonder why God chose me to trust so much, days where I wonder if I will ever sleep a straight 8 hours again and days when I wonder what I am possibly doing wrong. Days I think if I hear one more scream, I will probably go insane. There are days that I need to step away, just to catch my breathe. And that's ok. 


Through it all, I am always reminded of how wonderful being a parent is. 

What was life like before kids? Boring.