Transparent Moment--The dreaded will

There it sits.

Staring at me. Mocking me.

Is it that I'm lazy? No, that's definitely not it.

Is it that I don't have the time? That could be true, but time can always be made for such important things...especially when I'm not even writing many blog posts.

So why haven't we done a will, especially in the past 4 years of having kids?

For awhile we were able to use the excuse that it was too expensive to draw up a will. I mean who could afford thousands of dollars in lawyer fees to get a proper one done? As wonderful and needed as a will sounded, we just didn't have that kind of money.

Then, I found this at Costco...

You can buy one too here

Ugh. There goes that excuse. This one was on sale for $30.

Another excuse we've used is we'd like to have life insurance in place first but we don't have the extra $50/mo for that...yet someone we always manage to scrounge up enough for coffees and other luxuries. Not to mention, now that I have the software from Costco I could recreate the will when we finally do get life insurance.

So again, now that my excuses have been wiped away, I pose the question: Why haven't we done a will?

Truth: I am afraid of admitting what a will means. No, I am not afraid of dying. Rather, I am afraid of admitting that something could happen to my husband and I leaving our children. Alone.

Our children. The ones we would do anything for. The ones that we are neglecting with our negligence. Our children; the biggest part and only reason we have to do a will. The thought that we might not be the ones there for every moment of their lives makes my head hurt. Admitting that they may grow up not knowing their mommy and daddy makes my heart hurt. Tears fall at the thought. So instead, I've suppressed those thoughts and tuck the software in a back drawer far from mocking and even farther from sight.

And we've already done the hard part. We know if something happens to us our kids will be left in good hands. No, great hands. Hands that will love both of our boys as their very own. Hands that will firmly set boundaries, yet allow them to become unique in their own ways. Hands that will embrace their personalities and help them flourish. Hands that we love, adore, and respect deeply. Hands that will allow and encourage them to remember us if we're gone. Hands that will look out for their best interests, raise them with the same morals, and grow in a relationship with Christ. Hands, though not ours, that will be the next best thing.

God only You know our future. Please grant us peace and strength to complete this ever important task...for our children.

I can do all things through him who strengthens me. 'Philippeans 4:13'

Readers: It can be scary to admit we aren't the ones in control. We don't have control over when we live and when we die. It's been written in His book since He knit us in the womb...only God truly knows. But if we live each day in fear, think of all we'd miss out on! And yet, as I'm realizing, it's so important to make sure you have everything lined up for the 'just in case' times. Do you have your will complete? What did you use to complete it? Lawyer? Software? Something else entirely?

The 10 foot pole

Recently my hubby and I joked that the reason we have 2 end of the year babies is that March is about the time I rebound from what I'm deeming winter blues. We had a good chuckle about that not thinking too much of it until I began to realize how true it really is.

I really dislike January and February (I even have a hard time getting excited about all the great birthdays that fall in there). This time of year is the holiday let-down. And now that we have 2 little boys with birthdays that fall at the end of the year, it means all the parties, planning, festivities, etc. are done. And I'm wiped. I was looking back at our personal family blog posts for the past 4 years and realized that January and February are severely lacking posts. I just don't have any desire or energy to do those things. Then, take a look at this blog. I stopped posting over the end of November and all of December so I could focus on family and all those things I listed above and have been unable to pick up the momentum since.

What this means though is that come March I will be carrying a 10 foot pole. As much as I love November and December, I just don't think I can add anything else to that time of year, especially not something so deserving of more energy as a new baby. So hubby, I hope you're reading this (or a kind friend is taking notes for you) because in March I'm carrying my sticks and will be keeping you at a 10 foot distance ;)

Readers: What is your favorite thing to do as a family this time of year to keep the blues away?